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BREAKFAST

Beet Berry Smoothie Bowls With Hemp Seeds

You’ll never guess this fruity magenta bowl has spinach and beets in it. The root vegetable contains anti-inflammatory compounds and may help lower blood pressure. Top this breakfast off with more hemp seeds and nuts, or nut butter, for some added staying power.

Za’atar Spiced Pecans and Quinoa Breakfast Bowl

Za’atar is a Middle Eastern blend of sesame seeds, herbs, and sumac, a spice that lends a lemony zing. Make the quinoa, roasted tomatoes, and spiced pecans at night so you can heat up, top it with an egg, then eat and go in the morning. The protein in this dish will help keep you satisfied.

Blueberry Chia Overnight Oats

This gorgeous meal is also easy to transport to work if you make it in a mason jar. The oat flour (use gluten-free, if you prefer) and chia seeds thicken overnight so it’s perfectly creamy come breakfast time. Plus, the fiber from the oat flour, chia, and blueberries supports healthy digestion.

Savory Breakfast Salad

Salad isn’t the first thing that usually comes to mind when you think of breakfast. But this combo of greens, roasted sweet potato, blueberries, hummus, avocado, hemp seeds, and parsley drizzled in lemon vinaigrette tastes as amazing as it looks. And all those colors are a sign of different antioxidants such as anthocyanins in blueberries and beta carotene in sweet potatoes.

Breakfast (Cookie) Bars

Some recipes for breakfast cookies are, indeed, cookies. However, these contain no refined sugars and white beans to bind all the tasty morsels—gluten-free oats, dried fruit, and pumpkin seeds—together. Consuming legumes and beans may help reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure, and aid in weight management.

Hummus Kale Toast

Nothing against avocado, but it’s not the only toast topper. Garlicky sauteed kale provides vitamins A, C, and K to support eye, immune, blood, reproductive, and bone health. Sprinkle on a generous dose of hemp seeds—one tablespoon has three grams of protein.

Protein Breakfast Bowl

This balanced bowl is loaded with flavor, fiber, protein, and healthy fats. Spiced roasted sweet potatoes, seasoned black beans, crispy chickpeas and creamy spinach are topped with a hard-boiled egg, avocado, and sriracha. There’s no way hunger will come knocking before lunchtime.

Homemade Bircher Muesli

A Swiss physician came up with muesli, an early sort of overnight oats. In this version, unsweetened applesauce and almond milk soften up the oats. A spoonful of almond butter adds a bit of protein, and the apple grated on top provides fiber and may protect against cancer and cardiovascular disease.

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LUNCH

Asian Quinoa Salad With Sesame Miso Dressing

This gorgeous salad takes less than 30 minutes to make. Chewy quinoa, tender edamame, and crunchy red cabbage and carrot are mixed with a dressing packed with umami thanks to miso, a fermented soy. Top with sesame seeds and fresh cilantro for extra crunch and a lemony kick.

Vegan Lentil Soup

This hearty soup with a hint of spice from cayenne and ginger is perfect all winter long. Fresh thyme adds an earthy flavor and antioxidants, and don’t skip the fresh lemon juice at the very end—it enhances all the other flavors and brightens the dish.

Broccoli and Kale Caesar Salad

Vegan Caesar? You bet! Blending soaked cashews with capers and lemons creates the classic flavor for this salad. Using kale and adding roasted broccoli and cannellini beans amps up the nutrition compared to the typical Caesar. Top with gluten-free croutons or just sprinkle on extra sunflower seeds—they’re a good source of antioxidant vitamin E.

Black Chickpea Wrap With Tarragon Yogurt

If you can’t find black chickpeas, regular garbanzo beans work in this recipe. Both are a good source of fiber, protein, folate, manganese, and iron. Tarragon adds a hint of anise to the creamy yogurt sauce, but you can use any fresh herbs you like.

Pumpkin Tortilla Soup

Rather than chicken, this tortilla soup calls for cubed pumpkin or butternut squash. Both are good sources of vitamins A, C, and E, as well as the minerals manganese and potassium, which is important for heart health. Top off the smoky, spicy soup with avocado, jalapenos, and crispy gluten-free tortilla strips.

Chopped Kale Salad With Lemon Tahini Dressing

Massaging the kale in oil and lemon juice not only adds flavor but also softens the powerhouse leafy green. While this salad is packed with other healthy ingredients like avocado, cranberries, and almonds, you’ll really love the creamy dressing made with tahini—the same sesame seed butter used to make hummus.

Mango Avocado Chicken Salad

If you haven’t used avocado in place of mayo to make chicken salad, this recipe is the reason to try it! The result is just as creamy, but lower in calories and saturated fat, and higher in fiber. And this isn’t your ordinary chicken salad—it’s full of carrot, cucumber, mango, red bell pepper, raisins, and pecans for loads of flavor.

Israeli Couscous Salad With Roasted Cauliflower, Pistachios, and Dates

Use brown rice for a gluten-free version of this salad that combines chewy grains, crisp-tender roasted cauliflower, crunchy pistachios, and sweet dates and golden raisins. Although quinoa often outshines brown rice, the rice has about 4.5 grams of protein and 3.5 grams of fiber per cup, plus more niacin than quinoa. This B vitamin helps convert food to energy and helps our digestive system function.

Related: For more healthy, tasty and simple recipes, check out our Clean Eating column!

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DINNER

Spaghetti Squash Lasagna Boats

This impressive, cheesy dish takes minimal effort. While the squash roasts, make an easy meat sauce (use grass-fed ground beef or organic ground turkey) and sauté some kale with garlic. Mix that with ricotta and the roasted squash, then put it back in the squash shell, top with sauce and more cheese, and pop it back in the oven for a few minutes.

Green Falafel Bowl

Falafel is actually easy to make: Combine the ingredients in a food processor or blender, then bake. Spinach turns these falafel green and adds iron and calcium. The best thing about this bowl is you can customize it. Start with your leafy green of choice, add leftover roasted or fresh veggies, some hummus or other dip, and drizzle on lemon-olive oil vinaigrette.

Butternut Arugula Pasta

Butternut squash as a sauce? Roasting it with fresh thyme and blending with garlic and chili flakes turns it into a rich, creamy, and savory yet slightly sweet pasta companion. Top with chickpeas, peppery arugula, pine nuts, and cheese, if you desire.

Healthy Thai Shepherd’s Pie with Red Curry Beef, Coconut Kale and Pumpkin Mash

This certainly isn’t your grandma’s shepherd’s pie, but she’d enjoy it. Ginger and red curry paste spice up grass-fed beef, which is mixed with creamy kale. Then rather than potatoes, the topping is a blend of cauliflower and pumpkin puree. The recipe can also be made vegan.

Vegan Stuffed Zucchini

Zucchini are a bit of a blank slate when it comes to flavor, yet they’re a good source of fiber, vitamin C, potassium, and folate. Roast them, then fill with spicy black beans for more fiber and protein, and top with a vegan cheese sauce made with tahini for a quick Mexican-inspired weeknight meal. (You can also use real cheese, if you prefer.)

Sun-Dried Tomato, Mushroom, and Spinach Tofu Quiche

Tofu makes a great substitute for eggs in a vegan quiche, plus it’s a complete protein. Fresh chives and basil, nutritional yeast, mushrooms, spinach, and sun-dried tomatoes lend tons of flavor to this satisfying dish. You can omit the crust and bake it in a greased pan if you prefer.

Vegetarian Chili

What is winter without chili? This plant-based version includes pinto and red kidney beans for that stick-to-your-ribs heartiness. But along with the usual chili powder, cumin, paprika, and cumin, you add cocoa powder and cinnamon. Seems unusual, but it deepens the flavor without you noticing. Top with avocado and fresh jalapeno slices.

Easy Thai Curry Hot Pot

Hot pot is an Asian meal enjoyed as a group. There is a bowl of boiling broth in the middle, and you all add other ingredients to cook in the broth. Make this version for your family or when you have guests. Just whip up the garlic-ginger-curry broth, then stir in your desired protein, gluten-free noodles or rice, vegetables, greens, and herbs.

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SNACKS

Lemon Ginger Chia No-Bake Snack Bars

Seven ingredients and a food processor are all it takes to make your own healthy snack bars. The combination of gluten-free oats, almonds, chia seeds, and dates adds up to 5 grams each of fiber and protein per bar. Be sure to use the crystallized ginger—it adds the perfect zing to compliment the lemon.

Garlic Rosemary White Bean Dip

We love hummus, but it’s not the only bean dip. This one is super easy, too—process the beans with garlic, olive oil, vinegar, and rosemary. The herb may have antioxidant, anti-inflammatory, anti-diabetic, and anticancer properties.

5-Ingredient Peanut Butter Granola

Granola can be loaded with sugars, but not if you make it at home, following this simple recipe. Combine natural peanut butter, gluten-free oats, chia seeds, vanilla extract, and a little honey. Then spread it out on a cookie sheet and bake. This granola is slightly sweet, crunchy, and full of peanutty flavor. Nibble on it alone or with berries and Greek yogurt.

Chia Berry Shake

You’ll never guess this shake has no dairy. It’s thick and creamy thanks to chia seeds and avocado, which also add some fiber and healthy fats. Use your favorite frozen mixed berries—all are sources of more fiber, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants.

Sweet Potato Bites With Black Bean Hummus and Guacamole

This snack also makes a great appetizer. Roast slices of sweet potato with spices and top with homemade black bean hummus (or use any flavor store-bought hummus in a pinch) and guacamole. It’s easy and more nutritious than eating chips with dip.

Savory Oat Walnut Granola Bars

These aren’t your typical granola bars with fruit, nuts, and chocolate chips. Instead, they feature oats (use gluten-free) dotted with crumbled kale chips, olives, and walnuts. You can also add chili flakes for some heat. The savory is balanced by the sweetness of honey, which binds it all together. And they take minutes to make.

Simple Lemon Berry Bars

If you love lemon curd pie, you’ll go gaga for these bars. Lemons are full of vitamin C, and the phenolic compounds in berries may protect against conditions such as cardiovascular diseases, inflammation, cancer, and neurodegenerative diseases.

Avocado Tartines With Gribiche Egg Salad

This recipe tops slices of bread with mashed avocado and an egg salad mixed with dijon, shallot, capers, and a blend of herbs: flat leaf parsley, tarragon, thyme, chives, and fennel fronds. Even if you don’t have all the herbs, the taste is delicious—light, fresh, and with a little kick.

The post 32 Meal and Snack Recipes for Clean Eating appeared first on Sonima.

In the book, the best-selling author, Buddhist teacher, and meditation advisor for Sonima.com shares his observations from these intimate conversations, weaving in his own personal experiences with mending a broken heart. The bottom line: There’s no escaping getting hurt by a loved one, but you do have a choice in how you chose to proceed. “The only way we can get through our heartbreak is to sit in the middle of that terrible, devastating, world-changing experience,” writes Rinzler, who knows firsthand the benefits of meditating on a feeling. In November 2015, he co-founded MNDFL, a popular drop-in meditation studio in NYC.

A willingness to face your discomfort (rather than repress it with a pint of ice cream) can lead to living a more present and authentic life. It can teach you to see things for what they are, which in turn, can help you shift your mindset from one of anger and despair to hope and openness. To be able to love again, first learn to heal your heart—and your head—with these wise words from Rinzler.

1. Love needs space.

After a third date, you may find yourself fantasizing about a life with this person—the courtship, the house, the kids, the vacations—only to get dumped two weeks later. If this happens to you often, consider this: “We need to give our love room to grow,” Rinzler says. In other words, the more we can allow people, including ourselves, and relationships to develop organically over time, the better off we’ll be. “If we box it in with our notions of how things should be, then we’re dooming ourselves to a death by a thousand heartbreaks,” he writes. Save yourself from all that pain by being open to how things really are rather than how you wish they could be.

Related: 20 Most Brilliant Insights Ever Shared About Love

2. Give into all the feels.

When you’re going through heartbreak, it’s natural to feel a barrage of emotions. As overwhelming as they can be, the only way out is through. Let yourself burst into tears while walking down the street or chopping vegetables or some other innocuous scenario without judgement or commentary. “The only bad emotion…is the one you close yourself off to,” Rinzler says. Rather than attempt to force yourself to feel a certain way (i.e., happy it’s over), be open to the lessons your real emotions have to teach you. Try breathing into the pain for 90 seconds, then let it go. This will help you move toward healing.

3. It’s really not about you.

You may roll your eyes at the cliché breakup line, “It’s not you, it’s me,” but it’s usually spot on—even if you don’t believe it in the moment. “Often a rejection has much less to do with us and much more to do with what is going on in that person’s own head,” Rinzler says. Yet, too often, we create stories about how we’ll never find love or we’ll always fall for the person who cheats on us. This way of thinking only locks you in your own personal hell. Forget those false stories you keep telling yourself and accept the one the universe has planned for you.

4. Recover, then risk it all again.

As much as you want to, you cannot avoid heartbreak. It’s a natural and important part of life. So the best thing to do is to embrace it. “By showing up for [heartbreak], day in and day out…we show up for our life much more authentically and offer our love that much more deeply,” Rinzler writes. And if going through the pain of heartbreak means we get more out of every moment, including the best aspects about love, then isn’t it worth it?

The post 4 Lessons We Learned from this New Book on Heartbreak appeared first on Sonima.

In the past, the only vegan cheeses on the market were the equivalent of celebrity impersonators—a sad, disappointing excuse. Most had a rubbery texture and plastic taste, and they were made from ingredients like palm oil, starches, and gums. But today there’s an increasing number of artisanal non-dairy cheeses on the market. Ones that, if you served them at a wine tasting and didn’t tell your friends, they might not even realize they’re eating vegan.

“More people than ever want to reduce their intake of animal products,” says Michael Schwarz, founder of Treeline Cheese, which produces cheeses made from cashews. “I think it’s due to a combination of the revelation of what does on in dairy industry, health issues, and climate change. But they still want to be satisfied in having a really nice thing to eat instead of dairy cheese.” Enter nut cheeses.

Related: How to Make Vegan Zucchini Lasagna

Each company makes their cheeses slightly differently, but most start with fresh or soaked nuts because their high fat content results in a creamy, cheese-like consistency. They break the nuts down until they resemble a cream. Then the cream is cultured with good bacteria (probiotics), which interacts with the nuts and produces lactic acid. This lends a cheesy flavor and makes the cream firmer. Some cheeses are then aged for a few weeks for an even firmer texture. “It’s a fairly simple process, but the devil is in details. You have to pay attention to how it’s cultured. It’s a live product and requires great care,” Schwarz says. Several companies also add herbs or spices to naturally flavor their products.

So what do they actually taste like? Schwarz says to keep one thing in mind: “People who make brie are not claiming to make Camembert—they make brie. Similarly, we don’t sell ‘vegan cheese.’ We sell ‘nut cheese,’ which stands on its own merit. Don’t think these cheeses will taste exactly like a cheese you’ve have before.” Kaitlyn Misheff, director of education for Matthew Kenney Culinary, says even people who eat dairy enjoy the treenut cheeses served at Matthew Kenney restaurants. “It’s just really good.”

To see how good nut cheese really is, we asked a few non-vegans, including Yuri Weber, cheese buyer for Park Slope Food Coop in Brooklyn, New York, to sample a few artisanal vegan cheeses. Below are Weber’s reviews of the top picks. (If your local natural foods store or Whole Foods doesn’t carry these cheeses, you can buy them all online at VeganEssentials.com.)

Dr. Cow Tree Nut Cheese Aged Cashew Nut & Hemp Seed Cheese

Made from just four ingredients—organic cashews, organic hemp seeds, acidophilus (bacteria), and Himalayan pink sea salt—Weber said this cheese tasted the most like dairy cheese out of the 14 we taste tested. “It has a mouthfeel similar to real cheese,” he said. Eat it with crackers and a tart jam, like red currant, he suggests.

Punk Rawk Labs Dairy Free Nacho Nutmilk Cheese

If you like a little heat, try this cashew-based cheese. It also has carrots, to naturally give it an orange color as well as some nice crunchy texture, chili pepper for spice, and green onions. Make a roux and add this to create a sauce or dip (after all, it is nacho flavored).

Treeline Treenut Cheese Classic Aged Artisanal Nut Cheese

Hickory smoked salt adds a subtle smokiness to this cashew cheese. Weber found it to be very nutty and silkier in texture than the Dr. Cow, and he suggests eating it with something sweet, like chestnut honey.

Miyoko’s Kitchen Aged English Smoked Farmhouse

Miyoko’s adds chickpea miso to most of its cheeses, and the flavor is quite pronounced in this tart, richly flavored cashew cheese. The smoke flavor is much stronger than in other cheeses because the cheese is smoked, rather than having flavors added to it. Add it to chili or a sandwich.

Kite Hill Soft Ripened

This cheese fooled many non-vegans it’s so close to a brie. Made from almond milk, salt, enzymes, and cultures, this aged cheese even has a soft rind (which is edible). Kite Hill says it’s best served out of the fridge, but one vegan tester said she’d bake it.

Of course, you can also make your own nut cheese at home. Cashews are a common base since they have a subtle flavor, but Misheff says macadamias are also great because they’re harder, which adds body. “Or use a 50-50 combination for a firm cheese that’s bit creamy in center,” she suggests. Soak your nuts overnight to soften them, then rinse and drain before processing. A high-speed blender is best for making nut cheese, because the machine needs to be strong enough to chop your nuts into a cream.

If you’re making a fermented cheese, Misheff stresses to be sure everything is sterile—so follow common sense and be sure your hands and all equipment are clean. This way you won’t get any mold on your cheese. “Mold will only happen if there’s bad bacteria [i.e. something other than the probiotic] in the environment,” she explains. And be sure you’re fermenting in a spot in your home where the temperature is pretty consistent.

Give it a go with this recipe from Misheff for macadamia chevre. You can serve this on crackers, or make beet carpaccio by slicing beets super thin and marinating in a mix of olive oil, salt, pepper, and lemon juice. Then top with the cheese. (If you don’t want to try fermenting, simply blend the nuts, water, nutritional yeast, lemon juice, and salt for a ricotta-like cheese.)

Ingredients
2 cups macadamia, soaked, drained, and rinsed
1/4-1/2 cup water (use more or less as needed)
2 capsules acidophilus powder (find this in health food stores)
1/2 teaspoon nutritional yeast
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons fresh herbs (such as rosemary and thyme), minced
1 teaspoon spices, ground or whole (optional)

Directions
1. Blend macadamias, water, and acidophilus powder in a food processor until completely smooth. Place mixture in a square of cheesecloth and tie up the ends of the cheesecloth. Place cheese in a strainer, and set over a small bowl to drain. Check cheese after 24 hours. If you live in a humid environment, it may be ready. If it doesn’t smell sour enough yet, let it go another 24 hours.

2. After cheese has fermented, fold in nutritional yeast, lemon juice, and salt, adjusting seasoning as desired. Form mixture into a log shape using parchment paper, twist the ends tight to form a tight cylindrical shape, wrap in plastic, and refrigerate for 2 days or until firm. Once cheese is firm, remove from parchment, and roll in minced herbs or spices of your choosing to form a layer around the outside of the cheese. Place macadamia chevre in a fresh piece of parchment, wrap tightly, and refrigerate until ready to serve.

The post 6 Vegan Cheeses So Good You Won’t Miss the Real Thing appeared first on Sonima.

“It’s a good thing that people want to take an active role in their health,” says Philip Hagen, M.D., vice chair of the division of preventive medicine at the Mayo Clinic. While a search for “home remedies” may garner more than 21 million results for everything from rubbing your feet with onions and garlic for cold and flu symptoms to countless elixirs using apple cider vinegar to aid digestion, there are certain situations you should leave up to the pros.

“If you feel really horrible, have a fever, or your symptom is the outcome of something traumatic like a car accident, use common sense and go to the doctor,” Hagen says. Same goes if you have a diagnosed condition or disease, such as diabetes or cancer. See your physician before you try anything yourself.

Another concern with home remedies is that you may not be treating the correct problem, warns Mott Blair, M.D., a family physician in Wallace, North Carolina, and member of the board of directors of the American Academy of Family Physicians. “Sometimes, these remedies only treat a symptom that turns into something worse. But if you saw a doctor earlier, this could have been treated and prevented,” he says. Also, some strange-sounding remedies may prove unhealthy or potentially dangerous in the long run. Below are a few popular home remedies that doctors would like you to avoid and what to do instead.

HOME REMEDY #1: Apple cider vinegar (ACV) for a sore throat

The claim: Gargling with ACV or drinking it mixed with hot water (and often honey) soothes your throat because the acid in the vinegar kills bacteria.
Why doctors don’t buy it: “I’d consider apple cider vinegar to be too strong,” Hagen says. “It’s a fairly irritating substance, and there are other, gentler approaches.”
A better alternative: Both Hagen and Blair agree that gargling salt water is a smarter, non-irritating solution. Mix 1/2 teaspoon salt in a glass of warm water and gargle with that to alleviate your scratchy throat.

HOME REMEDY #2: Cranberry juice for a urinary tract infection (UTI)

The claim: The proanthocyanidins (PACs) in cranberries keep bacteria from binding to the walls of the bladder, preventing infection.
Why doctors don’t buy it: A review of 14 studies found little evidence to support that cranberry juice prevents UTIs. Plus, once you start experiencing the symptoms of a UTI—burning, fever, and/or frequent urination—you probably have an infection, Blair says. “If you don’t see a doctor to get medication, you risk having the infection travel up into your kidneys, which can lead to a kidney infection.”
A better alternative: Don’t wait. See your doctor asap to get antibiotics, Blair says.

HOME REMEDY #3: Using yogurt internally for a yeast infection

The claim: Dip a tampon in yogurt and leave it in for four hours or up to overnight. The good bacteria in the yogurt will kill the yeast and encourage more good bacteria to grow. Some also report that the cold yogurt is soothing.
Why doctors don’t buy it: Any kind of douching can change the pH in your vagina, which is usually asking for an infection.
A better alternative: Feel free to use yogurt as intended and eat it, or take a probiotic supplement if you want the benefits of good bacteria. But if you have a yeast infection, you should always see your doctor, Hagen says.

Related: When Are Antibiotics Actually Necessary?

HOME REMEDY #4: Olive oil for ear pain

The claim: Polyphenols in olive oil are antibacterial and antiviral, and they can help decrease inflammation caused by an ear infection.
Why doctors don’t buy it: “When your ear is infected, oftentimes the middle ear swells up, casing pressure on the ear drum. Oil might reduce that pressure and the pain, but you’re treating the symptoms, not the problem—the infection,” Blair says.
A better alternative: For ear pain, try OTC drops as long as you don’t have a fever, Hagen recommends. If you do have a fever or there’s any drainage or change in hearing, see your doctor.

HOME REMEDY #5: Whiskey and honey for a cough

The claim: A hot toddy will quiet your hacking by relieving congestion and soothing your throat.
Why doctors don’t buy it: “There’s always the risk of interaction if you combine alcohol and OTC or prescription drugs,” Blair says. And since many cough suppressants and pain relievers already contain alcohol or other sedatives, the cumulative effect could be dangerous.
A better alternative: Mix that honey with tea if you want a warm drink on your throat.

HOME REMEDY #6: Ginger ale for an upset stomach

The claim: Studies show that ginger is a safe and effective treatment for nausea and vomiting. Some people claim that the bubbles help, too.
Why doctors don’t buy it: Ginger ale typically contains “natural flavors,” which means it’s not clear if there’s any actual ginger in there. What is clear in most ginger ales is high fructose corn syrup—26 to 35 grams of sugars in a can, depending on your brand preferences. Plus, the carbonation may make bloating and gas worse, according to the Mayo Clinic.
A better alternative: Ginger tea. It gives you all the benefits of the root without the unnecessary calories and sugar.

HOME REMEDY #7: Hair of the dog

The claim: Drinking more alcohol will alleviate a hangover.
Why doctors don’t buy it: You’re only delaying the pain.
A better alternative: Rest, drink plenty of fluids to rehydrate, and take painkiller for your headache, Hagen says. And forget what you’ve heard about sweating out a hangover too: “You feel lousy in part because you put your body through the ringer. So doing something heavy like exercise only adds insult to injury,” Hagen adds.

The post 7 Home Remedies Your Doctor Wishes You’d Stop Using appeared first on Sonima.

In junior high and high school, I was so sensitive I didn’t stand for any chance of embarrassment or negativity, like the time Jaymi told my crush I liked him, or when Jenny made snide comments about my brother. After those instances, I basically cut them out of my life. In high school, I made efforts to socialize with anyone and everyone, but I kept things very surface level. I’d put up walls and not let anyone get too close to me. That way, they couldn’t hurt me.

When I left for college—my dream school in Illinois—I hoped things would be different. “Friendships develop when there’s a sense proximity and community. That’s why friendships in college are so easy and natural,” says Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and author of The Friendship Fix. That wasn’t the case for me, unfortunately. Although I casually chatted with people in class or the dining halls, I figured keeping to myself was my greatest defense. School was black and white; it couldn’t gossip about me; it couldn’t turn its back on me. I preferred to spend my down time by myself, walking along the lake, cooking, reading, or talking to my mom. We talked almost every night, which may not be so uncommon. According to a 2015 survey of 1,000 millennials, 55 percent of them consider a parent a best friend.

In adulthood, I have developed friendships through work, yoga, and friends of friends. It’s been easier for me since we have something or someone that I really care about in common. This allows me to start with “safe” conversation topics and then, if I feel I might be able to trust them, slowly start opening up about more personal things, such as dating. I’m OK with being vulnerable now more than ever, partly because I’ve developed a thicker skin and am more confident than before. Still, I face ups and downs, including losing a group of friends after a breakup, and being completely shut out by a woman I was very close to, with no explanation.

Related: How to Know When You Need to End a Friendship

I continue to test the waters with friends and I’ve become closer to some, but I’m still without a BFF.

Turns out, I’m not alone: Surveys have found that somewhere between 6 and 10 percent of people say they don’t have a best friend. “I don’t think it’s typical for adult to have one clear, delineated best friend, especially since lives are so transient today,” Bonior says. “It all depends on the person. To some, it’s important to have a deep level of intimacy with one person. Others might have a bunch of lower-level friends but nobody rises to that extremely emotional level of best friend.”

“There’s also more of a hybrid today,” she adds. “Your sister or your cousin might be your best friend, but you don’t consider them that because they’re also family. Or you might consider your best friend to be someone you went to college with, but you really don’t talk [as much].”

For those like me who have considered a parent a best friend at some point, it’s not necessarily a bad thing, experts say, but you should examine that relationship. “Is there a reason your parent is your best friend?” Bonior asks. “It could be that you have an amazing, strong relationship and similar personalities. Or it could be that you are co-dependent and neither of you has other friends.” Plus, she points out, chances are you’re going to outlive your parents. “When that time comes, you want to have a support system beyond them,” she adds.

Life changes like moving, getting a new job, tying the knot, or having kids can easily lead to peer friendships growing apart. And even though we have technology to keep in touch, one of biggest challenges for adults is finding time to put into friendship maintenance, Fehr says. “We are socialized to think family needs to come first and that we need to honor our work commitments, and often that doesn’t leave time to keep up with a friendship, no matter how motivated both people are to maintain it.”

The main thing both Bonior and Fehr emphasize is that it is essential to have friends. “People fare much better in physical, mental, and emotional health when they have close ties, and the research shows it benefits people to have more than one close tie,” Fehr explains. Science confirms that a strong social circle can help you live a longer, healthier, less stressed life. As long as you feel supported and have relationships that are satisfying to you, you don’t necessarily need one particular go-to person.

For people who would like closer friendships or even a bestie, start by focusing on what you’re interested in, experts say. Maybe that’s a taking fitness class regularly, going to the dog park the same time every weekend, volunteering, or joining a meeting up group. The female-friendly dating app Bumble even offers a BFF mode to help you find a nearby best friend. As someone who begrudgingly uses Bumble in an attempt to meet men, I found meeting a friend on there felt a little too forced. Photos and a short description (which not all women include for some a puzzling reason) are not enough for me to make a connection, and I already feel it’s too much work to find guys on the app.

Meeting friends, however, isn’t really the problem—it’s following up, Bonior says. After all, we’re not often taught how to ask someone out platonically. “You have to be willing to go beyond small talk,” she says. “You can talk about the weather for years. But if you dig deeper, it can turn into a friendship. So follow up on something they mentioned before. Or reveal something about yourself that makes you vulnerable, something personal they can respond to.” In that sense, messaging on the app may make the initial conversation easier, but a deeper relationship still requires a genuine personal connection.

“There are personality factors that can impede friendship,” Fehr says. “Those who are shy, reluctant to trust others, introverts, or socially anxious. Without intending to, they won’t make as much eye contact, won’t smile as much, and therefore send the message, ‘I’m really not that interested in getting to know you.’” Maybe that’s why in high school I often heard others saying I was stuck up or that I thought I was “Little Miss Perfect” behind my back? Really I was horribly insecure and felt far from perfect. It hurt like hell to hear people say these things, and that made me retreat further into myself and only share things that people couldn’t use against me.

It has taken me years to learn to put myself out there and trust others. There’s always that fear of “What will she think of me?” I still have those thoughts even when talking to close friends. But I’ve known them long enough to know they won’t turn on me. So little by little, I share more with them. I’m not opposed to finding my one true confidant, if it happens naturally. And if it doesn’t, I have the support system that I need right now. For me, it’s better to have a tribe of close friends. I find that the more I share with each individual in my inner circle, the more I open up with everyone. I have those who I see regularly, and others who live across the country, but will drop everything to Skype on short notice. There are the ones who are more of my workout buddies and then the few who I turn to on those “what the heck am I doing with my life?” days. It takes a little work, but it’s so worth it to share many different and unique connections with others, and I’m grateful for all of them—each and every one.

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“A health coach works with someone who wants to make a change in their well-being and helps them reach their goals,” says Linda Smith, director of educational programs at Duke Integrative Medicine. That sounds broad and vague, but research  (like this April study published in The American Journal of Managed Care , and this May study published in Clinical Pediatrics ) has found that health coaches can help patients with a variety of issues, including sticking to their new nutrition, exercise, and weight-loss plans, and also managing chronic conditions.

With doctors spending less time with patients (about 9 to 16 minutes per appointment, says a 2015 survey)  and Google becoming a go-to source for medical information , it’s not surprising that health coaches are on the rise. It’s ranked number 13 in a list of 20 in the annual “Worldwide Survey of Fitness Trends” (more than 2,800 health and fitness professionals around the globe weighed in) published in ACSM’S Health & Fitness Journal  last December.

Just because something works for a lot of people doesn’t mean it’s right for you. Smith says some people may benefit from health coaches more than others. “They can help people who have tried and failed and tried and failed, those who don’t know where to get started, or anyone who’s so busy, they don’t know how to fit their goal in,” she explains. If you’re thinking, “That’s me!” it’s important to know what health coaches can’t do for you, too. They cannot prescribe medication or put you on a diet. They primarily help with lifestyle changes. That means for any medical conditions (diabetes, cancer, etc.), you still need to see a doctor. If your primary care says that it would help to get something like stress or your weight under control, then you may want to see a health coach to aid your work on those things.

Related: The #1 Reason We Fail to Meet Our Goals 

 “Seventy percent or more of chronic disease is based in our lifestyle, and nutrition, fitness, and stress management are probably the top three factors,” Smith says. “We know we are not going to cure heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and other diseases with education alone. Health coaches are the piece of this puzzle that’s about engagement and planning for success so that people can make a change.”

Another difference between doctors and health coaches is how much time they spend with you. “With a doctor, it’s 15 minutes in and out, and you address one specific problem,” says Jennifer Cassetta , a certified health coach from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN). “A health coach will dig more into your life. They may say, ‘I’ve noticed you spend 80 hours a week working, sleep five hours a night, have your phone by the bed, feed yourself for comfort, and aren’t happy because you’re not in a relationship.’ Then they try to connect the dots and identify the underlying causes and problems.”

In addition to diving deep into your lifestyle, during your initial consultation (which generally lasts about an hour), a health coach will ask questions to see if now is the right time for you to work on your goals. A few sample questions: “What barriers are in the way? How confident are you in making a change right now? What’s important to you in health and well being?” Most will give you the option of meeting in person or via phone or Skype, which have been shown to be just as effective . You’ll typically meet every two weeks for anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. “Two weeks is long enough for someone to put in place what we agreed to and gain experience and learn. Then we can build on that,” Smith says.

Most health coaches will ask you to commit to working together for three to six months total. “That’s enough time for a client to make some changes and work toward a goal that’s significant to them. Then we can see: Is this something they want to continue? Or did they just need help getting started?” Smith says. Based on that answer, some people work with a coach for years, making one change after the next. “It’s a support system that’s strengthening for them,” Smith says. Others say “thank you” and move on now that their new healthy habit is an established part of their life.

 Related: I’m Unhappy But Afraid to Make a Change

If you decide to seek out a health coach, you want to be sure to pick the best one for your needs—as you would with any health professional. First, know that there’s currently no national certifying program for health coaches. Although the National Consortium for Credentialing Health and Wellness Coaches and the National Board of Medical Examiners recently signed an agreement to launch a national certification , this may not be in effect until the fall of 2017. What that means is that anyone can call themself a health coach right now, unfortunately, which is probably why some people may be dubious of the job and its effectiveness.

Before you meet a health coach for a consultation, consider asking them the following questions to gauge their skill-level and overall experience in this relatively new field:

*Where did you get your training? (A list of reputable organizations can be found here.)

*How long was that training?

*For how long have you been coaching?

*Do you have any references I could speak to?

*Describe your coaching philosophy. 

Also, review their website and see if they have any other credentials, such as certifications in personal training or nutrition (i.e., registered dietitian). And be mindful if a health coach seems to be pressuring you to go on a specific diet or make any other lifestyle changes that don’t seem right for you.

“Some people call themselves health coaches, but maybe they have a certain dietary preference that they think is most healing—yet they don’t have any education to dispense that information,” Smith says. “A coach should always understand what’s going on for their client and make the best recommendations on their behalf.” That means you should feel respected and heard. “Ask yourself, ‘Am I being listened to? Am I setting goals that are important to me?’” Smith says. “I want my clients to say ‘I did it’ so they are learning how to be their own best coach as they are being coached. I don’t want them look back and think, ‘I’m lost without you.’”

Since there is no national health coach certification, most health insurance companies do not cover the costs of working with a health coach. The IIN initiated a Change.org petition  to include health coaching as an allowable pre-tax expense in the Health Savings Acts, but for now, talk to your insurance provider. Some will offer health coaches, but check them out to be sure they are qualified. If you decide to pay out of pocket, prices vary widely, from about $50 to $200 per session, says Cassetta, who adds that you should expect to pay more for a more-experienced coach.

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